Choices

I have always thought, without a doubt, that I could not do the stay-at-home-mother gig. I am a much better mommy if I am not around my girls 24/7 and I have always enjoyed the adult aspects of a challenging career. 

Some may say that I don't need to work, and I suppose strictly speaking they are probably right. We do not need my paycheck to cover our expenses but we do need it for our other behind-the-scenes plans.

Given this, as the girls get older and more fun to spend time with, without the same level of difficulty that having young children requires, every now and then the debate is opened for an internal conversation with myself.

This often happens on Mondays and some Mondays are worse than others. This last Monday was one such Monday and I found myself admitting it to a few colleagues.  I could not shake the thought of how nice it would be to stay at home with my girls.

So I left work early, rushed to get the girls... and then proceeded to spend the next few hours reminding myself of why I love to work. Nothing particularly bad happened but it was definitely one of those nights where I was tired and well... kids will be kids.

The next couple days at work might have been mentally challenging and draining but I noticed a distinct internal excitement because of I know that I don't need to work. I CHOOSE to work.

It's a powerful statement to be able to make and I consider myself incredibly blessed to be able to say it. I can only imagine how powerful it will feel when we reach the moment where neither if us need to work but we may CHOOSE (or not) to work anyway.

I have the perfect balance. Life is good.