Ellie's Buttons

I try not to focus on my frustrations as a parent, but it can be challenging. Every parent has their own battles that they fight, both internally and with their children. One of mine is getting the kids ready for school in the mornings.

I try really hard to foster a parenting style that encourages my girls to make their own decisions and come up with their own solutions. Instead of them doing what I say just because I said so, ideally they would do it because they want to do what I asked. This, of course, is Niffer's Ideal World and does not exist. Instead, what really exists is a constant struggle for myself to get them to pay attention to what I am requesting they do.

No one likes to be told what to do, so I try hard to not tell them either. This ends up making things harder for me than they need to be, but I hope that in the long run it will pay off.

Every now and then I hit gold. Like this morning.

Yesterday I was taking the girls to school and I had a serious talk with Ellie...
Mommy: Ellie, I feel like you don't listen to me unless I yell at you but I don't like to yell at you. Can you think of something else that I can do to get you to do the things that need to get done? This morning it took you way too long to get ready and it wasn't until I started yelling that you listened. I don't like that. Do you?
Ellie: No.
Mommy: So, can you help me think of a solution to fix the problem?
Ellie: Umm... I know! I don't think you know about this, Mommy but I have buttons!
Mommy: Buttons?
Ellie: Yeah! I have a button for "get ready" and when you push it, I will get ready. And I have a button for "go potty" and when you push it, I will go potty.
Mommy: Really? Do they really work?
Ellie: Yes! Tomorrow I will show you where the buttons are and you can push them and I will do whatever you want me to do.
Mommy: And I won't have to yell at you?
Ellie: No. You just have to push the button and leave and when you come back you will see that I did what you wanted.
Mommy: WOW! I'm so glad you told me about your buttons! I'm so excited to try them out!

So... This morning Ellie introduced me to the buttons. There were more than I thought. Every handle on her dresser was a different button to get dressed in different ways. The handles on the closet doors were buttons to put her shoes on (one for each foot). There were buttons on the door in the bathroom for every one of the typical bathroom functions and even a few spare buttons that she didn't know what they were used for.

Since it was my first morning using the buttons, I'm not going to say I was perfect. I sometimes pushed the "Get pants on" thinking it would get her to put her socks on. And when I pushed one of the extra buttons, she did a silly dance instead of brushing her teeth. It was not without its flaws.

But we got ready about 10 minutes faster than we have in a long time.

Best part about it? It was a solution that Ellie came up with herself. I swear, every now and then I think "I'm not too bad at this whole mother thing after all!"