Seasons

Living in Colorado makes me happy.

I recently decided to try to start viewing the area around us through the eyes of a tourist. We put effort into getting great photos of various places when we travel to Europe and many of the places aren't any more "spectacular" than what's right in our backyard. So, we'll see what treasures I can find around here if I just look for them...

My Life in Weeks

Inspired by this article, I thought it would be fun to plot my own life out in weeks. It certainly puts things into perspective. Life is too short. I don't want to work hard for as long as a traditional career & retirement suggests. That's not to say I WON'T work until I'm old and grey, but I want to get to a point where it's a CHOICE long before the traditional path suggests.

Our current plan? We're striving for an early retirement (ideally right when Addie graduates from high school), during which we want to do a nomadic retirement. We'll travel around living in various places (likely around Europe) for months at a time. Then when it comes time for a traditional retirement (likely when we have grandchildren) we can settle down and do our due diligence in spoiling our grandchildren.

Yes it's aggressive. Yes it means I'm compromising some of TODAY for TOMORROW. No I don't feel like those compromises are preventing me from enjoying TODAY to the fullest. Have you seen my blog??? We still make it a point to go to Europe every year and more importantly, we've initiated monthly date weekends with the girls. Life is good. My typical Tuesday does not have to be fancy in order for me to enjoy TODAY, but it does have to be simple in order for me to have the TOMORROW that I want. And yes, TOMORROW will come.... eventually. It always does.

Without further ado... I present to you my life in weeks (give or take). I must say that making this so personal was quite surreal. It puts into perspective how short my layoff really was, and it kind of freaks me out knowing that the expected life expectancy for males is right before our 50th wedding anniversary. And parenthood? It's not forever either. Sigh.

Hug your loved ones TODAY for life is too short to do anything else.

Do you know the story of Pinocchio?

ELLIE: Tell us a story, Mommy.
MOMMY: Do you know the story of Pinocchio?
ELLIE: Yes.
MOMMY: Well once upon a time there lived a man named... Umm.... There lived a man named Gelato.
DADDY: Uh... Mommy, do **YOU** know the story of Pinocchio? Did you mean Geppetto?

Silly Daddy. I knew better than him and stuck to the story about Gelato and his wooden spoon who wanted to be a REAL spoon one day. In order to be a REAL spoon the little wooden spoon knew that he would have to brave the dishwasher, as everyone knows that wooden spoons do not last in the dishwasher.

As I'm sure you're familiar with the story yourself, you know that it ends with the brave little wooden spoon turning into a REAL silver spoon and Gelato was able to eat his ice cream after all. Though he did get a brain freeze.

Sometimes as a parent, you have to save face and carry on with grace and composure, as if you know exactly what you're talking about. Thank you very much.

Yellowstone

On the way home we decided it was worth taking the time to see a bit of Yellowstone too...

Grand Prismatic Spring

Grand Prismatic Spring

Sunset over a random river

Old Faithful at Dusk

We didn't stay long but we did manage to see enough to know we want to return!

PURTY

It's no wonder why Glacier National Park is one of my favorite places. Let's go again!

Makes me smile

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today was my birthday and boy was I busy! You may ask what I did to celebrate so below is a summary of all that I accomplished on my birthday. I'd love to know how you celebrate yours!

My day started by me thinking about how fortunate I feel and how there are so many people out there who are not as lucky as I am. Lucky? Is it luck? Maybe not. Maybe it's just hard work, but that's not the point. There are people out there who are lost in one way or another. Some may be finding themselves without a home. Some without a hope. Some without a friend who cares. Whatever the reason for them feeling lost, I wanted to help. If only I could spend a bit of time helping them out?

Then it dawned on me! I had a brilliant idea and I got straight to work providing a stable home to many children who have found themselves and their siblings to be orphans. They now can live in a supportive, community environment where they can grow into caring, productive, self-reliant adults. And the best part? They can stay with their siblings! Why did I spend my day doing this? It's simple. Because every child deserves a home. SOS Children's Villages Illinois

Then I got to thinking... these children have been separated from all they know. They need something to hold on to. So I spent a bit of time to pass out bags to help the kids feel like they can still keep some of their prized belongings that have been a constant in their turbulent lives. Sometimes they just need something to hold on to. My Stuff Bags Foundation


Time for lunch and a bit of Lemonade. I personally sponsored many small lemonade stands across the country, each with a noble cause: fighting childhood cancer, one cup at a time. I think the lemonade stands shoudl be able to stay in business for quite some time now. Sometimes it's the smallest, most meek souls who prove to be the bravest and most influential. Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation

By now it was time for my afternoon nap. Not really, but I do think my brain needed a bit of a recharge, which is a MUST-Do if one wants to inspire excellence, confidence and curiosity. When I look at my Ellie and my Addie, I see two souls who love nothing more than to learn, learn and then learn some more. If it stops being fun, then that spark will slowly fade. No way! I don't think so! Not on my watch! MathCounts Foundation

After my recharge, I was ready to tackle the world again and what better way to do that than through science! Addie would be proud! After all, there is nothing better than science transforming life. I helped to provide the best integrated and innovative care for patients and their families for various diseases. Someday, patient care will be transformed to become both proactive and personalized instead of simply reactive and victimized. National Jewish Health

When I finally had a chance to sit down and catch my breath, I got to thinking about beginnings and endings. It's not just about the magic that happens in between. What if I could provide sunny starts and bright futures too? So that's what I spent my afternoon doing - pressing Start Over buttons for many children who didn't know they even had such a thing. Bright Beginnings

On the way home, my mind wondered to endings. Every good book has an ending, right? It's easy to say that when one door closes another one opens but what if you feel like you're just stuck in a box? I decided to take a detour on the way home and provide a new sense of hope and healing for those who are grieving from the loss of a loved one. Somehow I managed to cram a year's worth of counseling into just a few moments but sometimes even the ending of a book needs to be modified. Sometimes the unspeakable happens and you need ways to figure out how to find your voice again. Judi's House

By the time I got home I was exhausted! I managed to do quite a bit in my one day. I would have also liked to spend a bit of time banning the sell of children (Traffick911) or host a bake sale (Cookies for Kids' Cancer) but really? There is only so much that one person can do in one day before running out of time and resources!

So... Tell me... What do you do to pass the time on your birthday?

Cure for the Grumpies

For those of you who are parents, or maybe even those who are not... If you ever happen to find yourself driving a car filled with grumpy people and you've asked around for ideas on how to fix the problem only to discover a car full of grumpy people whose grumpies are preventing them from being able to use their heads... I have a solution for you!!!!

Find yourself a good round-about in the road. They're more common out East, but I assure you that they're getting more and more popular everywhere. Not only are they wonderful inventions for traffic flow, but they're a perfect cure for incurable grumpies in three simple steps:

1. Enter the round-about without saying a word.
2. Stay in the round-about without saying a word.
3. Leave the round-about only after every single passenger is laughing because it's so silly.

Black Fish

I admit that we were a bit torn on the idea of taking the girls to Sea World. There is something about the idea of such a beautiful animal being stuck in a large/small (depending on your viewpoint) swimming pool that breaks my heart. That being said, I have similar (though not quite as strong) feelings about any animal in even a common zoo, so we were able to look past those feelings and let the girls have this experience. I'm glad we did.

Daddy and I watched Black Fish a couple nights ago. We purposefully waited until AFTER our trip to Sea World because we knew we were already on the fence about the whole "orca in captivity" topic in the first place.

Watch it if you want. It's heart-breaking, for sure. There are definitely parts of the video that I agree with and other parts that I'm sure are one-sided and a bit jaded. Make your own opinion, but I think my general conclusion is that "documentaries" are likely to be misleading in order to make their case.

In the end, here is what I hope my children grow up to remember...

1. PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES. I think what happened in the 70's and 80's in capturing wild orcas was despicable. But that was then. This is now. I could be wrong, but I don't THINK that stuff happens anymore. What we know now about Orcas is different than what we knew then.

2. MAKE THE MOST OF A BAD SITUATION. Now there are a bunch of not-so-wild orcas in captivity who likely would not survive the wild if they were released anyway (remember Willy?). So, why not make the most of what you have? Creating awareness and inspiration to get involved is HUGE. Zoos do so much for the outlook and respect that children have for wild animals. They participate in conservation in ways we may not appreciate. I'm sure Sea World is the same.

3. THERE ARE TWO SIDES TO EVERY COIN. For whatever reason Orcas have always pulled at my heart strings more than any other animal. Honestly? I wouldn't be surprised if that originated with Sea World. On the other hand, there is no denying that what you see in Black Fish is absolutely heart breaking. I have found myself going in circles on my personal level of support but I think it's OK to see both sides of the story and be torn and not feeling like it is a topic that leads to a black or white opinion or conclusion. I fall somewhere in the grey.

4. RESPECT NATURE. Ultimately I think Sea World has its place, but no matter how awe-inspiring animals interacting with their trainers may be, it does not come close to the level of inspiration one obtains when seeing the beautiful animals in their natural setting - free to roam/swim as they were meant to be. Now THAT fills you with awe.

5. CREATE STRONG RELATIONSHIPS. Ok, so this one is more specific to Orcas than about animals in general. Orcas are truly a social animal, and they create bonds with their family members that even we may never understand their strength. We can look at them for inspiration on how we can better appreciate our own family. Cheesy I know, but I think there are cases where we, as humans, can learn from others what is truly and universally important.

Grandparents are Special

Ok, so this isn't specific to my girls, but it did make me laugh. I could see so many of these things coming out of the mouth of one of my daughters, so I thought I would share. No doubt grandparents are special.


1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said...."How do you make babies?" "It's simple, "replied the girl." "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck..." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, to find the fire hydrants."

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.

Family TMI

Some memories are easy to blog and share. This is not one of them.

But sometimes life hands you these real moments, mixed in with the others.

Let me set the stage...

I'm putting Addie to bed, tucking her in and giving her hugs and squeezes. Out of the corner of my eye I see Daddy doing the same for Ellie. Then I see him drop to the floor and Ellie is laughing so hard I find myself wondering if she should get up and use the restroom again. I continue to give Addie her hugs, and then go in to Ellie's room to do the same for her. She is still laughing so hard that she is crying.

I walk in and nearly pass out. There had been a major human gas leak incident and to the best of my ability to think in the moment, it seemed to me that it originated from either her or Daddy.

It is so bad that I couldn't stand. I fell to the ground. Ellie laughed even harder. I couldn't even give her my hug.

In an emergency situation, like fire or a human gas leak of extraordinary measures, it is important to remember the rule: STOP. DROP and ROLL. That's what we did. We dropped to the ground and tried to escape through to the hallway.

Unfortunately when I tried to stand in the hallway, I couldn't! The gas leak had permeated through to the hallway and was spreading! I vaguely recall looking at Ellie (still laughing) and thinking the air between her and I seemed thick and visible.

There was no chance I was going to be able to complete my hug mission, but the girls insisted. Gathering all my strength, I took a deep breath (keep in mind, I was still as close to the floor as possible... literally) and stood up, rushed in for a quick hug and then quickly back to the hallway, dropped to the floor and breathed in where the layer of air was still below completely toxic levels. I repeated the effort with Addie.

I doubt the girls realized the seriousness of the situation. The human gas leak was so bad that the air quality was toxic, I'm sure, but did they stop laughing? Heck no! In fact, to this day I'm left wondering if they laughed themselves to sleep that night.

Maybe it was a laughing gas attack, but whatever it was, the stuff was lethal.

Winter Treasures

Addie and I went treasure hunting today and look what we found! I'm hoping to return for other seasons too. PURTY.

Home Sweet Home (November 2013 - ???)

Had you asked 6 months ago if we'd be moving houses, it would not have even been on our radar. It wasn't until we ran some numbers and realized that if we downsized, we would be able to shorten the amount of time before we bought another investment property, and then someone could help us pay off that mortgage of ours. So, in October we found ourselves selling our big house and moving into a smaller one. Strangely, I have to say, this house has felt like home right from the start. I can't really speak for my husband or kids, but for me... it feels good.

Without further ado, may I present to you, the many reasons why I love my home... drum roll please...

I love my family name welcoming me home everyday. I love my bistro sets on the front porch. They look like they're ready for a warm sunny summer afternoon. We still have our fire pit table in the backyard, but haven't had a chance to use it yet.

I love the occasional appearance of fairies, dragons and gnomes. I had gnomes in our old house too, but I have found that part of making this place feel like home was to renew the gnome presence to fit just right.

I love my Willow Tree figurines that match the time period of the photos in my picture frames. I have done this for a while now, but every time I choose which photos to display, matching them to the figurines makes my heart sing all over again.

I love love love my jars of felted rocks. Each rock was a gift from Ellie and Addie at a time when the only thoughtful thing they had to give me was a pebble from the playground. I had these at our old house, yes, but now they are displayed in an even better place of honor.

I love my living room, with the wall words that say "Life takes you to unexpected places. Love brings you home." I think it fits Michael and I perfectly, with the traveling we love to do, yet it's our home with the girls that means the most. I love my breeze of leaves, street lamp, church windows and, of course, my trunk (soon I'll have my big one back too, but right now it's being fixed up). Oh, and how could I forget? Our house has a heartbeat! I love love love my clock (from Michael's grandpa).

Our new house is smaller than our previous one, but functionally it has every room we need. I love the dining room, and as strange as it sounds, I even like the pretty guest bathroom.

We are making the most of our basement now, and of course the wall going down the stairs displays the cross-stitches of some of the places we've visited. We have an exercise area, that doubles as a home theater. In the back of the room, is our beloved library of books. In the corner sits my grandma's dresser, and on either side of the doors to the guest room, are my cherished stained glass photos. The only thing the basement doesn't have is a bathroom, but we plan to change that soon.

Did I mention the guest room? The furniture is from Michael's grandma. I have been wanting to fix up our guest room to be this nice for years now, but simply never got around to doing so. LOVE it. Where else is Michael going to allow me to have a shrine to the Eiffel Tower, complete with a bowl of heart rocks and a pillow that says "Je T'aime?" It's all about love, baby!

Upstairs, our master bedroom has a subtle cherry blossom theme and parenthood theme. It may not seem like much to you, but I assure you, there are items in this room that I bought to make it just right. Not since our house in Maryland have I given myself a room that is exactly what I want. I even like the view on my way out of our room. It says "Happily Ever After," but is tucked up into a corner, almost so that only Mommy and Daddy take notice of it.

And the girls? They have wonderfully adorable, yet simple, rooms. We didn't have to change the colors but the girls are in love. It's really quite amazing how quickly the rooms can go from being clean to being messy, and back again. Thankfully, they stay clean more often than not.

This house has far less wall space than our previous one, and so we had to be very picky about what we hung (some of our other wall decor treasures are being stored safely under the bed). I love everything in my home, but the thing that I am currently loving the most is our family tree. Michael commissioned this design, originally to be a tattoo for me, but it has become our family symbol. As cheesy as it is, this image has great significance to us. Even the girls know how special it is. Mommy and Daddy are the tree trunks, entwined into one tree. Ellie, born in the spring, is the cherry blossoms. Addie, born in the autumn, is the aspen leaves. As Addie puts it, "That's me on top of Mommy's shoulders and Ellie is on Daddy's shoulders." Perfect.

Who knows how long we will be here and what memories are in store for us. Already this is the house we lived in when Ellie learned how to dive. Chances are Addie will learn how to ride her bike here. But what other memories will be made here? Will this be where Ellie's first date comes to pick her up? Or maybe even where Addie learns how to drive? Ugh. Let's not think of such things. Only time will tell what treasured memories are hidden in these walls.

So where is Home? Home is where your treasures are. Home is where the heart is and my heart is happy here.

Home Sweet Home (April 2008 - October 2013)

Awww, the house we recently moved from. I have such mixed feelings on the move. No doubt this was (and still remains) a beautiful house, and has treated this family very well.

Though most of the time we lived there, it looked like this. It goes to show you that when we painted the house last summer, we had no idea we would be moving away. This is where we watched Ellie learn to ride the bike. It's where we lived when Addie was born and where she learned to take her first steps. It's where we would drop Bun Bun down onto Ellie's face below as she learned how to count. It's where we lived when Addie would always compare our real house to her other house full of magic. It is where they built their first snowman and first learned how to Trick-or-Treat and jump into piles of leaves. 5.5 years can be filled with many memories, especially when children grow so fast. Sigh.

This house had everything we ever thought we would want in a house, and then some. The buyers said that it was so nicely decorated that they were sure that it was professionally staged. As stunning as it was, there was also a lot of unused space.

We rarely used the entire front room, and had an entire bedroom dedicated to our library. We had a wonderful walk-out basement but never did much to make it special.

Though our master bedroom was the only room in the entire house we never painted, we certainly went out of our way to give the girls their special rooms. I believe these rooms are what I will miss the most about this house. Ellie's room was a beautiful garden of butterflies and flowers.

Addie's nursery was warm and peaceful, filled with sweet dreams and love to the moon and back.

It was quickly replaced by bright colorful rainbows. Like I said, these rooms will be missed.

It's tempting to say that the backyard will be missed the most, but I'm holding out hope that we'll be pleasantly surprised with our new home. Last year we started to build a tradition of story telling around our fireplace table set, and though our new yard is much smaller and a little less private, I plan to continue this family tradition. Hopefully we will, once again, be visited by more magical creatures in the warmer nights to come.

Home Sweet Home (March 2006 - April 2008)

My heart aches with fond memories whenever I think of this house. It was the first house that Michael and I bought together. I first real HOME. We loved everything about this house and in some ways, have not been able to feel quite as much at home as we did when we lived here.

It might have been a small home, with a small yard, but it was pretty. There is something about small, quaint places that make me smile.

From the moment we walked into the door, we felt at home with wall words that read "May our home be warm and our friends be many."

We gutted the second level, and put in Brazilian Cherry floors on the diagonal. We redid the kitchen, cabinets and all. We repainted nearly all of the house, including the insides of all the closets. Yes, that sounds strange to even me, but I assure you, I LOVED LOVED LOVED the result. This was the first time Michael and I decorated together. Together we made this our home. Together.

Though there were still lingering signs of my life before Michael. As pretty as it was, our bedroom was one. At least I could say I had wonderful homes for all my purple glass bottles. I'm not sure what to do with them now.

Most significantly, this was the house we lived in when we first became a family. We lived here when Ellie was born. Her nursery was filled with calmness and words of inspiration. We spent many late nights trying to find our way as parents in this room. When we moved out, the patch of carpet in front of the crib was the only patch in the house that was worn down. This is where it all began.

Home Sweet Home (September 2000 - March 2006)

I'm kicking myself for not having digital photos of my first home, but I did manage to find a brochure that was used when we put it on the market so I was able to scan these photos. I suppose it's better than nothing, right?

Besides, this condo represents a time in my life so long ago, it probably doesn't even matter. And yet it does. I bought this place when I first moved away from home to be by myself. Home being Colorado, so I suppose this doesn't take into account the places I lived when I was attending University of Colorado.

But a lot happened while I lived in this small but pretty 2 bedroom condo with vaulted ceilings. It was the first place I decorated myself (with the help from an occasional visiting family member). As it turned out, everything was purple. This was the result of buying a purple couch because it was in stalk - the purple couch from hell. It collected cat hair like you would never believe, but I digress. Even if purple, I think the place was nice.

Here I learned how strong I can be on my own. I experienced my worst heartbreaks while living here, but it was also where I stayed up long into the night talking on the phone with my soul mate (eventually to be husband) as I debated whether or not I wanted to try another long distance relationship. Thank goodness I gave it a shot! In this little condo, Michael and I lived together for the first time. We lived here when we started taking adventures around the world together and we lived here when he proposed. We lived here when we got married.

This place may not be where our family started, and in many ways I never considered it our first HOME because it was a place I bought before Michael and I became an item. None-the-less, this condo held a meaningful place in our lives together.

It was a good first home for me, and even for us.

A moment of silence

I just found out that a colleague's 2 year old little boy went to bed last night with a fever and was found dead two hours later. Otherwise healthy. BAM! No warning.

I'm left with a sick feeling in my stomach as Addie's daycare calls to tell us she needs to go home because she has a fever. I'm not quite at that "freak out" zone because I know that what happened to his son is so crazy uncommon. But I am definitely in that "imagine if it were me" zone as no parent should ever have to experience such a loss.

And so quickly without warning. How does the world continue to turn?

Time to go home and snuggle with my little girl who isn't feeling well today.

Home is...

Recently we took the girls over to an old neighbor's house.  Sara was to babysit for the first time since we moved.  It was really strange driving up our old street.  It made Michael sad.  I think it was harder for him to move houses than anyone else.  Even Addie mentioned that it was weird to not be able to go into our old house because other people lived there now.  It left us with a strange, surreal silence.

And it left me thinking about what really makes a  house a home?  Is it merely the duration in which you live there?  Or is it the number of memories you remember?  Does it have something to do with the timing of your life?  Do some homes mean more than others simply because of circumstances?

These are deep thoughts and some I doubt I can answer, especially right now with so many mixed feelings.  So, instead of answering every question I ask in this blog, I will just post photos instead.  Sound like fun?  I thought so....

After these messages, we'll be RIIIIGHT back!

Don't judge a book by its cover

And by "book" I really mean "job."

I started my new job this week. It's the third job I have accepted since college, and also happens to be the third job that I accepted where I went into the interview thinking I didn't want the job. Maybe that's the secret ingredient to the whole interviewing process?

As with any new job, this week has proved to be full of feelings of being overwhelmed and questioning whether or not I can do this, but I am excited. There may be a lot to learn, but it will be a good ride, but I digress. I want to talk about the importance of not closing doors just because you think what's behind it is not for you.

And just so that it's in writing so that there is a chance for my girls to read about it in the future, I will take this opportunity to share 3 quick examples of how it ended up being the books with bad covers that I ended up finding good stories.

STORY #1: My first job

When I was searching for my first job, I attended a career fair at the University of Colorado. At this career fair there was a booth that wasn't attracting much attention and had an empty spot in front of it. I chose to stand in that spot to collect my own thoughts on which companies to approach. While forming my plan of attack, the guy behind the unpopular booth said, "Hey! Hey you! We do more than just Applied Physics!" And that's how I learned about the Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory. I did what anyone would do and handed the man a resume to get him to leave me alone.

As luck would have it, they called me in for an on-campus interview. I didn't think I was interested because JHU/APL is located in Maryland and I had no desire to live on the East Coast, but any interview experience is good, right? So I accepted just to get the experience. At the end of the interview the representative asked me if I had any questions for him. I asked him "Are you near any Air Force bases?" The answer was no (most of their work was for the Navy) but why was I asking? I told a harmless little lie, "My fiancé is in the Air Force." No, I was not engaged, and the lie was quickly forgotten.

A month or so later JHU/APL called to ask me out for an on-site interview. Again, I said yes because any interviewing experience is good experience, and hey! Free trip to DC! Every person who interviewed me asked me if I knew where my fiancé was to be stationed yet. "My fiancé?" I thought. Oh right! THAT fiancé. I never corrected them and that was that. Lie forgotten a second time.

They ended up making me an offer I couldn't refuse. I started working 6 months later and found myself confused on the first day of work when people were asking me if I thought it would be hard to have apart from my fiancé. What huh? Oh, right. Um, yes. Very difficult but we're working through it. I still didn't correct them. What would be the point? Ha!

A few months later I had an ugly breakup with my boyfriend and boy did the sympathy pour in! After all, now the wedding was off and I had to cancel plans, inform friends and loved ones. After that, once again, the lie was forgotten. Or was it? A couple years later, when Michael proposed to me (a real engagement), I was slightly confused by the strange comments of "I'm sure this one will last."

Ha ha. What's a little white lie if it lasts 4 years?

STORY #2: My second job

Upon moving back to Colorado I had accepted a job with a small medical company in Boulder. I was to start Monday morning. The Thursday before I received a phone call from a man who worked at Covidien. He asked me if I was interested in interviewing, to which I replied "Thanks but no thanks. I have accepted an offer and start this coming Monday." We politely said our goodbyes and hung up the phone. That was the end of that.

Until he called again a couple hours later to apologize. For what? This sweet man felt like he had come across as being too pushy, all the while knowing that I had accepted another position. I agreed to come in for an interview and one was scheduled for the very next day. The interview went well, and I told them that if they were to make me an offer it had to be NOW. I ended up accepting and calling the original company to give them notice Friday afternoon that I would not be "reporting for duty" Monday morning as planned.

STORY #3: My third job

After 5.5 years of service and good reviews, Covidien laid me off instead of giving me the promotion I was expecting. Needless to say I was a bit bitter. Oh I was trying to understand that it was a business decision and not to take it personally but I was still hurt. But what really upset me was that they laid us off, all the while having open job requisitions available for other projects. There didn't seem to be any sense of respect for trying to keep their people. In the end, this significantly affected my desire to apply for any of the job requisitions that Covidien had open, let alone one for someone having experience with wireless technologies since I have none.

Alas, one of the recruiters sent my resume into the hiring manager for the wireless/embedded position, and did so without my knowledge. The hiring manager contacted me and asked if I was even interested in the position. We had an informal interview, during which it was hard for me to not break down with emotions. The layoff was still too fresh. The meeting ended with the hiring manager putting the ball in my court by telling me I should contact him if I decided that I would like to return to work for Covidien.

I never did. I never followed up with him. I wasn't sure I wanted to return, to be honest. And I have no wireless experience so I felt like a match would was far-fetched. Much to my surprise, the recruiter emailed me a couple weeks later with an interview schedule. I did not convey any interest, but for some unknown reason, the recruiter kept pursuing it.

As you might have guessed, the interview went well. They chose me over someone who had the right technical skills. And here I am - in another job I wasn't expecting to want but yet it's one I'm excited about. I think I owe that recruiter lunch. Don't you?

Good bye 2013.... Hello 2014!!!

I've been blogging for quite sometime now. At this point, with the exception of one friend, I have no idea who (if anyone) even reads the blog. But it doesn't matter. I've always said that even though I started the blog intending for it to be a way to keep all our family updated, it ended up having very little to do with that. Instead, it ended up being my sanity. By forcing myself to search for the things in my life that make me smile or laugh, I actually found myself paying more attention to those things. I believe there is a lot of parenting experiences I would have never noticed, or would have quickly forgotten about, had it not been for my blog. Every year I print my blog into a hard-copy book, and these have become some of my most cherished possessions. Parenting is full of moments that we all forget about, but I will forever have a record of at least a small sample of the positive things, those are the memories I want to keep.

Why am I writing about all this now? I suppose it's a reminder to myself. 2013 proved to be quite a different year for me than expected. I started the year with fantastic goals, many of which actually drew my attention away from my blog. As luck would have it, life gave me a twist when I was laid off in September. While I consider myself to be a very optimistic person, one who is able to see the positive magic in just about any experience, I failed miserably to find the good in that experience. Though I knew it was a "business" decision, it was still impossible for me to not take the layoff personally.

I guess you could say I quickly came down with a minor case of depression. It's not as though I was depressed every moment of the day. I'm not sure if it was even apparent to others around me. My guess is that it was, but it was subtle. The most apparent signs were that I stopped doing everything I love. Almost cold-turkey. I stopped making my gnomes, which have always brought a big sense of joy to my life. I have always loved to bring a small smile into people's lives with my gnomes, but it was nearly impossible for me to convince myself to keep it up.

I also stopped blogging. At first I didn't notice that I had (other than an occasional reminder from my most loyal fan), but then I started to noticed that my patience with the girls went downhill. Suddenly I was snapping at them, and found myself anxiously waiting for bedtime to roll around. The girls asked me on more than one occasion, "Mommy, why are you mad these days?" or "Mommy, it's been a long time ago since you were happy with us." Those comments would shoot a jolt of pain through me. I knew they were right, and of course I would go out of my way to try to be nice for a few days. The point is this... though I'm sure there was more to it than just the fact that I stopped blogging, I'm also sure that it didn't help the situation.

Yesterday was the last day of 2013 and I have to say I'm glad to see it go. Don't get me wrong, lots of great things have happened this last year, but I am excited to return to myself again. I have accepted a job offer and start working again on the 6th. I'm really excited about the position and think it will be a lot of fun. I think it's perfect timing because I am going bonkers feeling like I don't contribute to society anymore (spoken with a smile - that sounded worse than I meant it).

I'm going back to the basics. 2014 will be filled with gnomes and many of which will be donated just because it makes my heart sing to do so. 2014 will also see more regular blog posting, for no other reason than my girls deserve to have the best mommy I can possibly give them. And that can only come from one who searches for the good rather than focusing on the frustrations.

Most importantly... I deserve it. Though I have my frustrating moments, those are not the ones I want to remember. Life is good... It's about time I start remembering that.