I'm pregnant.... I'm pregnant not...

I have to confess that I've wanted to create a blog for a few months now (inspired by a good friend of mine who keeps up a cute blog about her little boy), but have somehow managed to control myself by introducing a self-imposed rule - I can not start a blog until I am pregnant. But sometimes rules are meant to be broken....

Besides... this week should count! It's been kindof hectic in the "Is Niffer pregnant?" arena.

Since I'm assuming that anyone who would ever stumble on this blog would also happen to be someone who found about about it because I told them, I can only assume that everyone reading this knows that we have been trying to get pregnant now for a few months. Really, it's only been a couple of months, so we're not concerned about it yet.

However, the daily phone calls from my sister for the last week or two (yes, it was approaching that time of the month) have gotten me a little on edge (I'm quite proud of my mom for showing such self-control and not doing the same). I know that they're just excited for me, but please! When I get pregnant, I'll tell you! Stop it with the "are you pregnant yet?" and "how about now? pregnant now?" and jokingly saying "You know, you do have to have sex, right?" LOL. My family makes me laugh.

But still... as if trying to get pregnant isn't stressful enough (I know, I'm trying not to be concerned about it). Sheesh!

The funny thing about that is that as much as I get annoyed with the daily inquiry, I have also finnd myself upset if a day goes by without it. What the heck? Do you just not care if it happens to be today that I'm pregnant? I know... I have issues. I'm sure a couple years of counseling and I'll be just fine.

This last week has been a hectic pregnancy week. As every little girl does at one point or another (and I'm not convinced that guys haven't done the same), I used to pick up a flower and do the whole "he loves me; he loves me not"... but I was smart about it. The way I figured it, the more petals the flower had, the better my chances are of ending up on a "he loves me". Well, ok... so maybe I wasn't that smart. :P

My new grown-up version of this game has left me wondering how many petals I started out with. I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant not, I'm pregnant... you'd think it would be simple. Either I am or I am not. Period.

It's not like I have been a great example of timeliness when it comes to my menstral cycle recently. I do miss those 28 day cycles that come with the pill, where I could predict my period to 20 minutes if I did my homework and took my pill in a timely manner every day for an entire month. But no, that is no longer me. There are three basic theories on types of cycles out there: 1. 28 day cycle 2. montly cycle and 3. seemingly choatic cycle. In the 4 months since the pill, I believe that I fell under #3, though I was hopeful of becoming #1. M insists I was a #2.

But as mentioned earlier, I knew that the time was approaching. If one believed in the 28 Day Theory, I should have started my period last Tuesday (the 1st). If one were one who supports M's Monthly Theory, it should start on the 4th of every month (last Saturday).

Point is... A week ago I convinced myself that I "felt" pregnant, so I started getting excited when I was late for the 28 Day Theory. I know I should not have taken the test, and I promised M I would only use when I was absolutely sure! (It was nearly impossible to miss the look of fear in his eyes at the grocery store when his mind started adding up the cost required for monthly pregnancy tests. Seven bucks a pop!) But come on! You can't blame me, right? I was convinced I was pregnant.

I'm Pregnant!

So last Wednesday morning, I peed on a stick and tried to wait patiently for the second line to appear. Bummer! No Baby for me! Of course, I couldn't bring myself to tell M because I was embarrased to have wasted the $7 stick for a single big fat pink line.

I'm Pregnant Not!

The next few days were spent with me convinced I was not pregnant and assuming that my period is just late. Come Friday the 4th... The BIG day for M's Monthly Theory. No period. Hmmm.... Maybe I was pregnant and the test just wasn't sensitive enough!!!

So M and I discussed it and he insisted that he woudln't start getting excited until a week after the 4th (Friday the 11th). I insisted that I would be excited a week after the Tuesday (today). So we compromised and said Tuesday morning I'd take a test if I hadn't started my period. I kick ass at the compromising game! =)

Sunday comes and still no sign of Aunt Flow. I couldn't help but get excited about my on-coming nausiated feelings. We spent the day with Michael's family and I felt horrible. Yay! Baby!

I'm Pregnant!

Monday morning and I started the day like any other day... I peed. Much to my disappointment, when I wiped I saw I had started my period. Bummer. No baby for me! No point in wasting the second $7 test.

I'm Pregnant Not!

I told M and I could tell that he was disappointed, but did a good job of making me feel better about it. It's not like we've been trying for long, right? And since for obvious reasons, I did not really feel like talking to my sister about it, I sent her a text message: "No baby. Call me in a month."

Yesterday I felt like crap, but luckily I had a lot of work to accomplish so it kept my mind off of my head ache and back ache and such. But once I got home and had a moment to realize how yucky I felt, I realized that my "period" that had started that morning was barely anything at all.... just a little spotting, almost as though it was the very end of a period instead of the beginning. I've always been one of those people who have a couple of really heavy days at the beginning, then it tampers off. I never start off on a light day. And this was incredibly light. Hardly any sign of a period at all. Weird.

This morning I woke up and went to the bathroom thinking "surely there'll be signs of my Aunt Flow's return after a full night's sleep, right?" Wrong. I gave M a warning that I'd have to use up one of the precious pregnacy tests tomorrow morning if nothing changed before then. He's a wise man. He didn't even try to convince me otherwise.

Anyway... I know that the new plan was to wait until the morning to pee in a cup again (no way do I trust myself to pee on a stick I'm holding for 5 full seconds again!), but I couldn't help myself. M is working late tonight, and so I was bored when I got home.

Two pink lines! Woohoo!

I'm pregnant!

I'd like to believe that I started this blog tonight out of sheer boredom, but who am I kidding? I've been waiting to start one for a few months now!

Oh, and for those concerned, just thought I'd reassure you that for obvious reasons this all initiated a full-blown search about spotting during pregnancy, and I was surprised to find out that 25% of early pregnancies have spotting! And apparently it often happens around the time that you would have expected your period. Also, in the earliest stages of pregnancy, spotting can happen when the fertilized egg implants itself into the wall of the uterus. Regardless, I do plan to mention it when I go to see my doctor.

And now, I'm off to pick up my husband from work. I plan to wrap up my 2-lined stick and give it to him as a present. :D