You wouldn't know it but I've actually been in a writing slum recently. My queue of pre-written posts is used up and even though there are quite a few posts I WANT to write, I haven't found the motivation. GASP! Yes, even Niffer sometimes finds it hard to always write about the great things about parenting.I think recently the most frustrating thing I have to deal with is that both of the girls are Mommy's girls. I mistakenly assumed that since Ellie was a Mommy's girl, Addie would HAVE to be a Daddy's girl by default. Or if Addie was a Mommy's girl then Ellie would have to transition to a Daddy's girl by default.
Nope. As it turns out, they both prefer my attention over anyone else. And sometimes they both demand my attention at the same time. It's exhausting for me to be pulled in two directions at the same time. It's not uncommon for me to be eating my own dinner while feeding Addie hers AND playing dinner games with Ellie to get her to eat. Feeding three people at once is draining.
And it's hard on Michael too. He wants to help but can't really. Most of what Addie is going through right now is a stage. Ellie went through it too (only worse) when she was Addie's age. But with both girls wanting Mommy, Daddy is left wondering when it's his turn. He feels unwanted.
And it sucks to watch the motivation drain from his face. It sucks for me to watch him get hurt when all he wants to do is help and be adored. I know he's adored by his daughters, but it's hard for him to remember that.
So... Niffer has been out of commission for a while now. Hopefully I will be back in the swing of things next week! I have a lot of endearing stories to tell... as always. So, stay tuned!
4 comments:
I can relate, except this has been everyday of my life for the last 11months. The kids very rarely see Andy so they only want me. It is very draining and exhausting.
I hope for you things get better soon.
Kids tend to go through those phases of favoring one parent One thing we started with Anika when Josiah was born was daddy daughter dates. Anika got to pick out what they would do and off they would go. It really helped to make her more of a daddy's girl ( or at least gave me some one on one time with Josiah when he was a baby). Anika is now six and begs for daddy daughter dates. We have also added guy time where Mark and Josiah hang out and mommy son time and mommy daughter time. The one on one time seems to have helped the problem of wanting just mommy.
I agree about creating time for Michael and the girls. I would just add that you should also carve out some "me" time away from the girls to recharge your own batteries. That could also be a great time for Michael and the girls to have their own special fun time together.
I hear you no this. I got to a point that it didn't matter if I was the favorite, the kids just had to accept daddy as a perfectly good substitute. At first we had some tears and complaining, but it got easier for me and them. Hope you can get a 'refill' soon!
Post a Comment