Can't we all just be friends?

This last weekend we were going to attack the 3:00 AM feeding that Ellie has gotten herself in the habit of needing. Her current schedule is: bed at 7:30, wake and feed at 12:00, wake and feed at 3:00, wake somewhere between 5:00 and 7:00. It's not nearly as nice as what it was before taking her to CO, but we're managing.

Anyway... Operation Attack 3:00 Feeding did not end up happening because we keep going back and forth on "fix the feeding first" vs "learn to put herself to sleep first". As a compromise, we ended up spending hours at the bookstore looking up our options for sleep training.

At the bookstore, we met an older lady who said that you really need to let the baby cry it out or getting them to fall asleep on their own doesn't work. She said that the book she used with her kids was great and was written by "Farber, I think". Oh yes, Dr Ferber. He's the father of the concept of "cry it out", which essentially means that you let the baby cry herself to sleep and in a couple days she learns to put herself to sleep. The theory is "more short-term tears, fewer tears in the long run."

After this lady left us, we were approached by another, younger woman. She said "I overheard you saying you were thinking of Ferberizing your baby and I wanted to plead with you not to do it. I would hate to have to cry myself to sleep thinking that no one out there cared for me." She recommended a book by Dr Sears. Oh yes, Dr Sears. He's the father of the concept of "no cry", which essentially means that you do everything in your power to prevent your baby from crying, even if it means sleeping with them or waking up every hour to feed. If this idea bothers you, then you just need an attitude adjustment.

Come on, folks!? Can't we all just get along? Just because Ferber lets his baby cry for a couple nights does not mean the baby will need counseling because his mommy and daddy didn't love him enough. Nor does it mean Sears' baby will still be sleeping in his parents' bed when he graduates and goes off to college.

Ugh. Unfortunately any book we find with a middle of the road attitude ends up lacking specific alternatives. Once again I have to realize that there are no instruction manuals for this little bundle of jiggles.


P.S. Funny thing about lady #2 was that I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt and asked her "oh, what technique did you use to get your baby to sleep through the night?" Her response was "Oh, she doesn't. She's 10 months old and still wakes every hour and sleeps with me, but at least she knows I love her." Ummm... yeah. Let's not touch that one.