In today's departmental technical review (in front of all my boss' boss' bosses):
"For those of you who do not know me, my name is Jennifer Nix. No, wait. Jennifer Vincent. Umm... yeah. I've been married 2.5 years so you'd think I'd know. But the slide on the presentation definitely says Jennifer Vincent and that is me. Today I will be talking to you about the Proto 1 electroncis..."
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Welcome to the neighborhood
We moved into our house about a year ago, and happened to move in just about the same time as our neighbors two doors down. We spent the first month feeling bad for our next door neighbors because both of us new-comers were doing major home improvement on either side of them. Anyway, and a few weeks ago I saw my neighbor and said to Michael "Wow! She's gained a lot of weight!" He asked if I thought she was pregnant and I said I couldn't tell because I didn't get a really good look at her.
Well this weekend we got our answer. They put a sign out on their lawn that says "It's a girl!" Apparently the baby was born was born over a week ago at only 4 pounds! Being the experienced parents-to-be that Michael and I are, we knew that the baby must have been born really premature to be that small.
Later that weekend, we went to give them a small gift to congratulate them, and of course to get the scoop. As it turns out, her due-date was 3 days after mine!!! She went into preterm labor and then started hemorrhaging so they had to do an emergency C-section. The baby is doing well but needs to spend the next week or two in the NICU.
Maybe it's just because I'm pregnant and getting closer to my due date (6 weeks away now), or maybe it's because I now know her due date was so close to mine... But this news has had a really strange effect on me. I'm not sure how to describe it. Maybe I'm sad. Maybe I'm scared. Maybe I'm excited. Regardless, it's hard for me to imagine having the baby now! In my mind, Michael and I have 6 more full weeks to prepare for a baby, but in reality, he may decide to come any day now!
$#!T I've got stuff to do! I need to catch up on documentation for work (as I'm sure everyone can understand, documenting my work is always the last and most annoying part of anything I do, but unfortunately it is also necessary)! I need to wash all our baby clothes! I need to put the car-seat in the car! I need to buy the useful stuff that we haven't gotten yet (not sure what, but I know I don't have it!). I need to finish my scrapbook! I need to take more pictures for my scrapbook! I need to finish my cross-stitch!
Michael and I are not really the spontaneous types... granted we've done a lot that walks the line of spontaneity, but in the end it usually takes at least a month or two of planning. So much stuff to do, but I know that in the end I have no control over this. It can not really be scheduled. "Pencil me in for any day for the next month and a half." Ugh. This is messing with my whole normal system!
Well this weekend we got our answer. They put a sign out on their lawn that says "It's a girl!" Apparently the baby was born was born over a week ago at only 4 pounds! Being the experienced parents-to-be that Michael and I are, we knew that the baby must have been born really premature to be that small.
Later that weekend, we went to give them a small gift to congratulate them, and of course to get the scoop. As it turns out, her due-date was 3 days after mine!!! She went into preterm labor and then started hemorrhaging so they had to do an emergency C-section. The baby is doing well but needs to spend the next week or two in the NICU.
Maybe it's just because I'm pregnant and getting closer to my due date (6 weeks away now), or maybe it's because I now know her due date was so close to mine... But this news has had a really strange effect on me. I'm not sure how to describe it. Maybe I'm sad. Maybe I'm scared. Maybe I'm excited. Regardless, it's hard for me to imagine having the baby now! In my mind, Michael and I have 6 more full weeks to prepare for a baby, but in reality, he may decide to come any day now!
$#!T I've got stuff to do! I need to catch up on documentation for work (as I'm sure everyone can understand, documenting my work is always the last and most annoying part of anything I do, but unfortunately it is also necessary)! I need to wash all our baby clothes! I need to put the car-seat in the car! I need to buy the useful stuff that we haven't gotten yet (not sure what, but I know I don't have it!). I need to finish my scrapbook! I need to take more pictures for my scrapbook! I need to finish my cross-stitch!
Michael and I are not really the spontaneous types... granted we've done a lot that walks the line of spontaneity, but in the end it usually takes at least a month or two of planning. So much stuff to do, but I know that in the end I have no control over this. It can not really be scheduled. "Pencil me in for any day for the next month and a half." Ugh. This is messing with my whole normal system!
Monday, March 12, 2007
How do you do that?
I don't know if I have mentioned yet that I am taking prenatal yoga classes. They're a lot of fun. There's actually two different classes. One is incredibly relaxing and the other is just fun. The relaxing one is more my style, but doesn't have nearly as many people in it, and since I wanted to meet other mommies-to-be I actually joined the fun one.
Anyway... week after week I go to my yoga class and see super-cute pregnant women. Many of them show up with their super-cute tennis shoes with their super-cute tied laces and all I can think is "How do you do that?"
Sadly I can't remember how long it's been since I've been able to tie my own shoe laces. Woe is me. Woe is me.
Anyway... week after week I go to my yoga class and see super-cute pregnant women. Many of them show up with their super-cute tennis shoes with their super-cute tied laces and all I can think is "How do you do that?"
Sadly I can't remember how long it's been since I've been able to tie my own shoe laces. Woe is me. Woe is me.
Friday, March 09, 2007
Holy mother of crap!*
A Russian peasant woman holds the record for having the most children. Between 1725 and 1765, she was pregnant 27 times and had 69 children (16 sets of twins, 7 sets of triplets and 4 sets of quadruplets).
* in the wise words of Michael.
* in the wise words of Michael.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
MHE and baby
MHE? What's that?
Multiple Hereditary Exostosis*
In a nutshell, it's a bone disorder that has been passed down from my mom's side of the family. It never really affected me much since I do not have too many bone growths (fondly referred to as "extra bones"), but it was the cause of some incredibly painful growing pains for me, as well as poor circulation in my legs. I also feel like my non-flexibility is probably due to my extra bones too. For the most part, though, the biggest way MHE has affected me is through my brother.
Of all the people I know (only family members) with MHE, Jacob has it the worst. Physically speaking, it makes him look a little off. He's short and stubby because instead of his bones growing long and thin, they would grow short and stubby. He's had more surgeries than I know of just to get rid of the growths that affect his movement. In the end, he's been through a lot of pain and I'm sure his pain tolerance level is higher than most.
A few years ago I stumbled onto the MHE and Me, a website full of support for kids with the disorder. I couldn't help but get all excited about it! What a great idea! I wish such a site existed when my brother and I were younger!
One of the things that instantly touched my heart was the poetry written by a girl named Jessica. Since I write poetry as my own form of medicine, I felt like I had a special connection to her because she wrote words that I felt like I completely related to, yet she was so young!
Years later (a couple weeks ago), I discovered that Jessica had a blog! She's now a teenager and so there is very little I have in common with her... but for some reason whenever I read her blog, I feel like it's either 1. describing emotions I felt when I was younger or 2. describing emotions I'm sure Jacob feels but just can't convey. I've added her blog to the list on the side (Jessica, if you happen to read this and don't want me to list your blog, feel free to tell me).
Anyway... in recent weeks I've been thinking a lot about MHE again, mainly because I got an email from their distribution list that mentioned a survey that was being done about MHE and babies. It just seemed appropriate for me to fill the survey out.
What surprised me is that the survey had a bunch of "controversial" questions on it. There were questions like "If you were pregnant and were offered the opportunity to test your baby for MHE, would you?" or even "If you knew your baby had MHE, would you consider terminating the pregnancy?"
I've always known that the chances of passing it is 50% and that even if my baby has MHE, there is no way of telling just how much it will affect his life. He may have a mild case of it like I do, or may have a more severe case that causes him constant pain. There is just no way of knowing.
I've also known that some people are more sensitive to the idea of their children having something wrong with them. My ex once told me "Don't worry. When we want to have children, we can use someone else's eggs" because mine were "contaminated" (man I wish I could say that was why we broke up!).
But really? Terminate a pregnancy because of the possibility of having MHE? You have no idea how surprised this made me! It's strange for me to think that I have a disorder that would make some people think twice about having kids. I remember there being a letter sent to the mailing list where a lady was expressing her concerns for starting a family knowing her husband could pass on MHE, and I was surprised then too.
I'll admit, though, that I do not know to what extent MHE can really affect a person. I've read about examples where people are in so much pain that they can barely get out of bed, but even so, it's not an every day occurrence (or at least I don't think it is).
I remember when the topic came up with Michael and I (years ago). I remember being nervous about his reaction and fearing that it would be similar to my ex's. After listening to everything I had to say, Michael thought for a moment before saying something along the lines of "When I think of Jacob, I can not see there being any reason that I would not be able to love him or fall in love with him, so why would it be different for our kids?" I really don't give Michael enough credit, do I?
In the end, of course I wish my children do not have MHE, but if they do, it won't mean I love them any less or that they have any less of a chance to find their soul mate in the future. Michael was right. All that matters is that you surround yourself with people who love you.
* For more information, visit the MHE Coalition website.
Multiple Hereditary Exostosis*
In a nutshell, it's a bone disorder that has been passed down from my mom's side of the family. It never really affected me much since I do not have too many bone growths (fondly referred to as "extra bones"), but it was the cause of some incredibly painful growing pains for me, as well as poor circulation in my legs. I also feel like my non-flexibility is probably due to my extra bones too. For the most part, though, the biggest way MHE has affected me is through my brother.
Of all the people I know (only family members) with MHE, Jacob has it the worst. Physically speaking, it makes him look a little off. He's short and stubby because instead of his bones growing long and thin, they would grow short and stubby. He's had more surgeries than I know of just to get rid of the growths that affect his movement. In the end, he's been through a lot of pain and I'm sure his pain tolerance level is higher than most.
A few years ago I stumbled onto the MHE and Me, a website full of support for kids with the disorder. I couldn't help but get all excited about it! What a great idea! I wish such a site existed when my brother and I were younger!
One of the things that instantly touched my heart was the poetry written by a girl named Jessica. Since I write poetry as my own form of medicine, I felt like I had a special connection to her because she wrote words that I felt like I completely related to, yet she was so young!
Years later (a couple weeks ago), I discovered that Jessica had a blog! She's now a teenager and so there is very little I have in common with her... but for some reason whenever I read her blog, I feel like it's either 1. describing emotions I felt when I was younger or 2. describing emotions I'm sure Jacob feels but just can't convey. I've added her blog to the list on the side (Jessica, if you happen to read this and don't want me to list your blog, feel free to tell me).
Anyway... in recent weeks I've been thinking a lot about MHE again, mainly because I got an email from their distribution list that mentioned a survey that was being done about MHE and babies. It just seemed appropriate for me to fill the survey out.
What surprised me is that the survey had a bunch of "controversial" questions on it. There were questions like "If you were pregnant and were offered the opportunity to test your baby for MHE, would you?" or even "If you knew your baby had MHE, would you consider terminating the pregnancy?"
I've always known that the chances of passing it is 50% and that even if my baby has MHE, there is no way of telling just how much it will affect his life. He may have a mild case of it like I do, or may have a more severe case that causes him constant pain. There is just no way of knowing.
I've also known that some people are more sensitive to the idea of their children having something wrong with them. My ex once told me "Don't worry. When we want to have children, we can use someone else's eggs" because mine were "contaminated" (man I wish I could say that was why we broke up!).
But really? Terminate a pregnancy because of the possibility of having MHE? You have no idea how surprised this made me! It's strange for me to think that I have a disorder that would make some people think twice about having kids. I remember there being a letter sent to the mailing list where a lady was expressing her concerns for starting a family knowing her husband could pass on MHE, and I was surprised then too.
I'll admit, though, that I do not know to what extent MHE can really affect a person. I've read about examples where people are in so much pain that they can barely get out of bed, but even so, it's not an every day occurrence (or at least I don't think it is).
I remember when the topic came up with Michael and I (years ago). I remember being nervous about his reaction and fearing that it would be similar to my ex's. After listening to everything I had to say, Michael thought for a moment before saying something along the lines of "When I think of Jacob, I can not see there being any reason that I would not be able to love him or fall in love with him, so why would it be different for our kids?" I really don't give Michael enough credit, do I?
In the end, of course I wish my children do not have MHE, but if they do, it won't mean I love them any less or that they have any less of a chance to find their soul mate in the future. Michael was right. All that matters is that you surround yourself with people who love you.
* For more information, visit the MHE Coalition website.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
I broke an old man's heart last night
Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a weakness for cute old men. In fact, I told Michael before we got married that one of the conditions for us working out long term was that someday he must become a cute old man. I warned him of this because I have always known that someday I would be married to a cute old man. Granted I suspect I'll be old myself at the time, but the fact still remains.
Anyway, last night we sold our Saab. I love my car and hate to see it go, but there is something about a convertible that clashes with the idea of a baby car seat. Let it be known now, though, that I do intend to have another convertible some time in the future! And when that happens, I swear I'll be in Colorado so that I can full fill my dream of driving amongst the aspen leaves with the top down! Let it be known, dammit!
OK, back to the story, Niffer... We sold our car to the first person who looked at it. The man had "cute old man" potential, but only recently retired. He currently works at a golf course so that his grandkids can have free putt-putt-golf admission. Cute!
The sad part of the story, though, comes in when I was given the task of calling Myron, the other cute old man who was interested in seeing the car (we had an appointment to meet him last night as well). I'm not sure what I think of the fact that both parties interested in my car were old retired males, but I'll put that thought aside for the moment.
(Myron's phone is ringing)
Myron: Hello?
Niffer: Hi, we're supposed meet you tonight to see the Saab?
Myron: (sounding happy and excited) Oh yes! Hello! I was just about to leave work and call you! How are you?!
Niffer: Good, thank you, but I was calling to cancel our appointment because we had someone buy the car earlier today. I'm sorry.
Myron: (sounding so sad) Oh... Oh... Well I'm sorry too.
Niffer: (feeling guilty) Well I'm glad I caught you before you left.
Myron: (sounding heartbroken) Well, OK. I suppose that's OK.
Niffer: (feeling like a royal bitch) I'm sorry. Have a good night.
Myron: (sounding like the sad cute old man I'm sure he is) You too, sweetie.
Sigh. I realize it's probably because of my hormonal pregnancy "issue" but yes, I'll admit it... I cried after getting off the phone with Myron. I felt so horrible for disappointing an old man like that. Yes, I cried because I had to cancel an appointment with someone I had never met, after happily selling my car to another. Yes, I felt like the only cure to make me feel better would be a hot bath, but in the end I settled for a foot massage.
Poor poor Myron.
Anyway, last night we sold our Saab. I love my car and hate to see it go, but there is something about a convertible that clashes with the idea of a baby car seat. Let it be known now, though, that I do intend to have another convertible some time in the future! And when that happens, I swear I'll be in Colorado so that I can full fill my dream of driving amongst the aspen leaves with the top down! Let it be known, dammit!
OK, back to the story, Niffer... We sold our car to the first person who looked at it. The man had "cute old man" potential, but only recently retired. He currently works at a golf course so that his grandkids can have free putt-putt-golf admission. Cute!
The sad part of the story, though, comes in when I was given the task of calling Myron, the other cute old man who was interested in seeing the car (we had an appointment to meet him last night as well). I'm not sure what I think of the fact that both parties interested in my car were old retired males, but I'll put that thought aside for the moment.
(Myron's phone is ringing)
Myron: Hello?
Niffer: Hi, we're supposed meet you tonight to see the Saab?
Myron: (sounding happy and excited) Oh yes! Hello! I was just about to leave work and call you! How are you?!
Niffer: Good, thank you, but I was calling to cancel our appointment because we had someone buy the car earlier today. I'm sorry.
Myron: (sounding so sad) Oh... Oh... Well I'm sorry too.
Niffer: (feeling guilty) Well I'm glad I caught you before you left.
Myron: (sounding heartbroken) Well, OK. I suppose that's OK.
Niffer: (feeling like a royal bitch) I'm sorry. Have a good night.
Myron: (sounding like the sad cute old man I'm sure he is) You too, sweetie.
Sigh. I realize it's probably because of my hormonal pregnancy "issue" but yes, I'll admit it... I cried after getting off the phone with Myron. I felt so horrible for disappointing an old man like that. Yes, I cried because I had to cancel an appointment with someone I had never met, after happily selling my car to another. Yes, I felt like the only cure to make me feel better would be a hot bath, but in the end I settled for a foot massage.
Poor poor Myron.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
We all know the process
"Jennifer?" the nurse comes out to get me for my appointment. "Please give us a urine sample and then step on the scale."
Ah yes, the toilet. I've seen one of those before. I've done this before so I even know how to use one! It certainly feels good to finally pee since I've purposefully held it in because I knew I'd have to pee in a cup for my appointment. Ahh, much better!
Uh, wait... where's my cup? Dammit! I forgot the cup? I forgot the cup! I forgot the freakin cup!!
OK, settle down. There's probably still some left. After all, how many times in recent weeks have I peed, pulled up my pants, and gone over to the sink, only to realize I have to pee more? Let's just say more often than I'd like! But of course, that doesn't seem to be the case this time. And really? Who can pee when under pressure to pee? Especially when they just got done peeing in the first place!!
Sigh.
"Umm... ma'am, where's your urine sample?"
I forgot the cup. Leave me alone.
Ah yes, the toilet. I've seen one of those before. I've done this before so I even know how to use one! It certainly feels good to finally pee since I've purposefully held it in because I knew I'd have to pee in a cup for my appointment. Ahh, much better!
Uh, wait... where's my cup? Dammit! I forgot the cup? I forgot the cup! I forgot the freakin cup!!
OK, settle down. There's probably still some left. After all, how many times in recent weeks have I peed, pulled up my pants, and gone over to the sink, only to realize I have to pee more? Let's just say more often than I'd like! But of course, that doesn't seem to be the case this time. And really? Who can pee when under pressure to pee? Especially when they just got done peeing in the first place!!
Sigh.
"Umm... ma'am, where's your urine sample?"
I forgot the cup. Leave me alone.
Monday, March 05, 2007
People are starting to talk
Hahaha! I just got a spam email on my work account from a girl named "Erin Mansfield". Unlike most spam, this one has the appearance of a real email. Erin is kind enough to say the following:
Hey, I hate to be the one who tells you, but people around the office have been talking about you. When people continue to talk about your weight issue, well it just disgusts me. Whether you know it by now or not, people are always chattering about one another at work, but lately you have come up more than enough.
Like you, I wasn't the happiest or the best fit up until a year ago, thanks to my damn brother-in-law, but that has changed now. Anyhow, it was for the best. What I am saying is you need to do something and maybe I can help. Try this stuff out. I took it on the idea that it's just more junk, but it worked great. I see more positive reviews on it nowadays, which makes me feel even better. So, I am encouraging you to change... I'd hate for your weight to continue to be the topic of the narrow-minded people at work.
With good intentions,
Erin
Hey, I hate to be the one who tells you, but people around the office have been talking about you. When people continue to talk about your weight issue, well it just disgusts me. Whether you know it by now or not, people are always chattering about one another at work, but lately you have come up more than enough.
Like you, I wasn't the happiest or the best fit up until a year ago, thanks to my damn brother-in-law, but that has changed now. Anyhow, it was for the best. What I am saying is you need to do something and maybe I can help. Try this stuff out. I took it on the idea that it's just more junk, but it worked great. I see more positive reviews on it nowadays, which makes me feel even better. So, I am encouraging you to change... I'd hate for your weight to continue to be the topic of the narrow-minded people at work.
With good intentions,
Erin
Friday, March 02, 2007
Repeat after me
I really should start taking advantage of the statement "I can't talk about this right now. You're stressing out the baby."
Sometimes I wish I was more strong willed or something. I wish I had the ability to speak my mind or stand up for my actions and decisions without breaking down. I think the problem really comes down to me being so easily persuaded. I may think something through, weigh the pros and cons of a situation before finally coming to an informed decision I'm comfortable with, but all that goes down the drain as soon as I talk to someone who disagrees.
I'd like to think it's because of my ability to see the validity in both sides of any story, but really I just have to admit that I get upset too easily. Sadly, when I get upset about something, I tend to lose the ability to speak which then adds to the lack of ability to clarify my reasons for making my decisions... it's a vicious cycle really.
I bet if I started saying "You're stressing out the baby", it would alleviate much of the need to argue or defend myself. =)
Sometimes I wish I was more strong willed or something. I wish I had the ability to speak my mind or stand up for my actions and decisions without breaking down. I think the problem really comes down to me being so easily persuaded. I may think something through, weigh the pros and cons of a situation before finally coming to an informed decision I'm comfortable with, but all that goes down the drain as soon as I talk to someone who disagrees.
I'd like to think it's because of my ability to see the validity in both sides of any story, but really I just have to admit that I get upset too easily. Sadly, when I get upset about something, I tend to lose the ability to speak which then adds to the lack of ability to clarify my reasons for making my decisions... it's a vicious cycle really.
I bet if I started saying "You're stressing out the baby", it would alleviate much of the need to argue or defend myself. =)
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Dear Hollywood,
We have been through a lot together, haven't we? 28 years of shared memories, some exciting and happy, others inspiring and sad. You've always been able to lift me up when I'm down and make me laugh for what sometimes seems like no apparent reason at all. We have always had a connection, haven't we?
So, why? Why did you do it? Again? After all that we've been through together, you've hurt me yet again. I thought that we had an agreement, but you broke your promise and lied to me. Again. Did you think I wouldn't find out? Did you really think you could hide the truth from me forever?
I'm disappointed in you and I do not know if I will ever be able to trust you again.
Sincerely,
Niffer
So, why? Why did you do it? Again? After all that we've been through together, you've hurt me yet again. I thought that we had an agreement, but you broke your promise and lied to me. Again. Did you think I wouldn't find out? Did you really think you could hide the truth from me forever?
I'm disappointed in you and I do not know if I will ever be able to trust you again.
Sincerely,
Niffer
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