Soothing sounds for baby

A couple days ago, I apparently ate something that my body (let's blame the baby) did not like and I was rewarded with a non-stop burping rampage. It started out funny, though, because we were lying in bed making fun of all the strange and new sounds my stomach and throat were making. We tried to categorize the sounds with appropriate labels such as "moaning cow", "squealing monkey" or "dying cat".

However, the fun quickly lost its entertainment value when Michael was able to go asleep and I was left to ward off the wild animals on my own. It hurt! It wasn't just that I was burping a lot; it was that every time, I could feel it building up inside me until it finally reached a painful release. Needless to say, I was not a happy camper.

I finally got up and looked for some Tums that I was sure my mom would have somewhere in her freaking freezing cold house (it's a log cabin up in Estes Park, Colorado). Much to my dismay, nothing could be found in the guest bathroom or in the kitchen, but I did discover that I felt better when I was standing up. So, I tried to sleep sitting up in a chair, covered in my mom's fur coat for warmth.

That lasted about 10 minutes until I found myself rolling around in pain again. As I sat there trying to decide if I should wake my mom up for help, my mind started wondering about how I could make the most of my misery. The best I could come up with was a device to play the stomach churn sounds to my baby to soothe her to sleep after she is born. I'm sure you've seen a similar device before, where you can play relaxing sounds like the ocean and a heartbeat for the baby because the baby is accustomed to hearing such pleasant sounds in the womb. Uh? An ocean in the womb? Hello!? I'm of the opinion that stomach groans are probably more common.

Soothe your baby to sleep with the relaxing sounds of heart burn and gas! I doubt such a product exists. I'm going to be rich! $$$* Don't worry, when that happens, I'll try to remember all the little people. Or at least the ones I don't resent for sleeping peacefully throughout the night. =)


* Pronounced as "cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching"