- You must wear a bra at all times (or at least the times in which your baby might cry) or else you will leave milk puddles in your bed. Your husband may find this to be cute, but then again, you might not be as lucky as I.
- You must put on a diaper tighter than you'd think (even if it looks uncomfortable for the baby) or else you pay the messy consequences.
- Holding your baby tightly to your body does not help in breastfeeding, but it does help in cutting off blood flow to her leg and gives it a nice dark purple color.
- Baby wakes up with the sun. Period. Stuffing her with milk until she passes out an hour before does not change this fact.
- As cute as they might be, baby clothes with collars should just be banned unless you are one of those parents who does not care about your baby's fashion habits because no matter how hard you try, that collar will always be standing up.
- As wonderfully beautiful baby's eyelashes are, they grow in just about the same time as the real heartbreaking tears appear.
