Working Full-Time (A Venting Session)

I'm beginning to get a feeling for the main disadvantages for working full time.

A bit of a background... We really want to put Ellie-Belly into foreign language classes. We feel like it is important to try to expose her to other languages, and ideally have her end up at least bilingual.

My frustration is that all the cool things for kids (toddlers included) are during the day. Now I understand that the teachers probably have their own families at home too, but surely there are teachers out there willing to have classes in the evening. Afterall, it's really only a couple hours a week!

But I work during the day and so even though I have these desires to include Ellie in things like Spanish classes or nature classes, I can't because I am working.

UGH! Sometimes I really feel like the world caters to stay-at-home-mothers.

Boob warning

I apologize for not writing much lately but only one thing has been on my mind. It has now been 7 days since I quit breastfeeding and I am still in semi-major discomfort. Here is a partial list of some of the things that have crossed my mind in the last week.

- Ouch.
- How is it possible that I am being elbowed by my own elbows?
- I wonder what my boobs are thinking right now... Where is my baby! Give her back, she's hungry; I know it!
- Hey, stranger, who "innocently" rubbed up against me... DON'T MESS WITH ME!!!
- I wonder what my coworkers would think if I started massaging my breasts during this meeting.
- Beautiful weather, wonderful hike... Hey, doesn't everyone hold their boobs while hiking? It's a bumpy path!
- What are the boobs thinking now... If I store milk here, would Baby find it? What about here? No? Then here? Oh! What about up by the shoulder? Maybe around towards the back a little?
- Ahhh... nice hot bath.
- It would be horrible to have to go through this sort of withdrawal because of the death of a baby (enter 5 minute crying session here).
- Step away from the boobs.
- Hands off.
- That means you, too, Ellie.
- What the boobs! No, silly. Don't WATCH the boobs. Just watch out for them.
- Ahhhh.... nice hot bath.
- I wonder if I could still breast feed now. Would it make the pain all go away?
- Don't do it, Jen! Stay strong!
- Does Ellie remember breast feeding?
- Mmmmm.... would you like one or two lumps with your milk?
- Ugh.
- I'm done with this.
- Ok. Enough. Really. It's enough.
- Hey! Are you two listening? ENOUGH!!!

Love me tender, love me lumpy

Would it *really* be that bad if I nursed her until she graduates?

A fond farewell

I have two friends who came into my life soon after I got pregnant. Though I did not think I needed a lift, they helped to boost my self-esteem. I think that I actually became more popular because they hung out with me. Coworkers seemed to notice me more.

But my friends weren't just awesome in the social scene, they were awesome at home too! When it came time for the baby to come, boy did they step up to help! If the baby cried, it seemed that my friends were the first to react. At times I know they were able to calm the baby down better than I was able to do myself. And though I certainly appreciated their help, I couldn't help but wonder how I was going to be able to keep my baby happy without them around.

I knew the day would come when I would have to say good bye to my two friends, but I do appreciate them staying around as long as they have. It has been a fun year and a half with them in my life. Maybe they'll be willing to drop in and lend a helping hand when it comes time for us to add to our family, but until then I will just say this much:

Ellie will miss you. I will miss you. Michael will probably miss you the most.

Monkeys and Balls

Ellie got two toys for her birthday that Daddy absolutely loves. First, you already know about the monkey. Second, she got a dinosaur that is full of balls (like one of those pall pens that kids can play with). Why are they daddy's favorite toys?

It's all because of statements that have become common things that are now commonly heard at our house:

Are you playing with your monkey?
Do you want to play with your balls?
Show Uncle Jacob your monkey.
What are you holding? Two blue balls!
Where's your monkey? Oh, it's between all the balls!
Get those balls out of your mouth!
Ewww! Yucky balls!
Are you sucking on monkey?

Mother's Day

Look at Ellie's super cute blue dress! Grandma bought this for us last year for Mother's Day so that we could match each other. Cheesy, I know, but when else am I going to be able to wear the same thing as my daughter and look cute?

See? Cute. I told you so!

For Mother's Day, we went to the zoo with Grandma Cindy, Granpa Bob and Uncle David. It was an excellent day and I couldn't have asked for anything more.

I think Ellie liked the zoo, though she seemed to be in awe of everything. Rather than a "oh! oh! Monkeys!" attitude, it was more like "Hmmm... I've never seen that before!" attitude. However, I do think the monkeys will become a future hit.

I love this little girl's smile! This is the time when it's relatively easy to get her to smile for pictures! Soon I will have to teach her to show us her teeth in order to get great results.

Happy belated Mother's Day to everyone it applies to!

Ah shucks, thanks guys

Seriously, I didn't post my "Blog Envy" to guilt trip you into leaving comments, but the fact that you did was really appreciated. I love you guys!

I got some great mother's day pictures, but can't post them now since they're on the computer at home... so hopefully there'll be more to come later today.

She's Mine! All Mine!

The DJs on the radio station were talking about an interesting, but depressing, topic the other day. What do you do if you find out that the baby you have raised for the last couple of years is not yours? What would you do if you found out that there was a mix-up at the hospital and that you went home with the wrong baby? Do you keep the one you've grown to love and raised as your own or do you trade back? It's a tough one and I'm not sure where my own opinion lies. Can't I have both? I suppose I would lean towards keeping the one I have raised because that child is the one I know as my own and I am the only parents she has ever known. But imagine how horrible it would be if you didn't have the same opinion as the other set of parents? Ugh. I can't imagine.

Luckily I do not have such a problem and hopefully never will. I always knew my baby from the beginning, even if the nurses stumbled on checking the bracelet IDs. How? They all look the same, right? It's the spot on her forehead that has always given Ellie away.

So, I leave you now with the proof that Ellie is indeed mine (I'll spare you the detailed pictures)...

Snuggle Bug

Sometimes I wish my baby was more snuggly. I know babies are all different, but Ellie certainly does not fall into the category of Snuggle Bug. The only times she really wants to cuddle is if she's feeling sick, and occasional moments here and there. In fact, I try to hold her and rock to her while singing during her bed time, but as soon as I start, she practically climbs into bed herself.

There are definitely worse problems a parent can have than an infant, make that toddler, who puts herself to sleep!

But last night I was lonely. Michael has gone to San Antonio for work and will be gone for a couple of days. For some reason I felt a strong urge to pull Ellie out of her bed and bring her into mine. If it weren't for the fact that the sun comes through our window so early...

What do you think I ended up doing? I hate to admit it, but yes... You guessed correct. I ended up going into her bedroom multiple times to watch her sleep, and I brought Bun-Bun to bed with me. Hey! No laughing. Bun-Bun isn't affected like Ellie is by the early rising sun coming through my bedroom! And she's super soft.

Birthday monkey

A couple weeks ago we took Ellie to the toy store. Grandma wanted to buy her a stuffed bear but couldn't decide which one to get on her own. As soon as we walked into the store, she squeeled with delight and pointed to a stuffed monkey. I handed her the monkey, which was really the end of the story.

She loved that thing and couldn't stop squeezing it tightly. We showed her an adorable stuffed bear, and her response was to squeeze the monkey again. We showed her a super-soft puppy, and her response was to squeeze the monkey again. We showed her a big teddy bear, and her response was to squeeze the monkey again.

Trust me, we tried to get her like something cuter! But she was perfectly content rassling the monkey to the ground and flipping him over her head and giving him kisses. It took a long time for us to convince her to let go of the monkey and give the other animals a chance. When we finally did, we put a bunch of our favorites in a circle around her. She looked at them and considered them briefly, and made her decision. Monkey!

At the check-out, the lady was trying to scan the tag on the monkey and Ellie had a fit. My Monkey! Mine! Don't you dare try to take her away from me!

Later in the afternoon we took a walk and apparently Ellie decided that the best way to show her new love for the Monkey was to drag him on the ground in the stroller. We couldn't convince her that it wasn't a good idea. Maybe she was just wearing him in with love. Gravel and love.

* Disclaimer: I know what you might be thinking (or not)... don't worry. We do not have to buy 7 monkeys. In the end, it was BunBun that she wanted when she got upset, but I certainly wish I had the toy store experience on video!

Blog Envy

Every now and then someone I know tells me about a blog that someone they know writes. And every now and then I check it out and find that the person two or three degrees of separation from me is quite funny. An example would be www.amalah.com. After reading a few her posts, I've decided I liked her, but I couldn't help but notice something. Go take a look.

Look at all the comments! How do you get from being a blog-no-body to a blog-somebody? 12 comments! 58 comments! 89 comments! WOW! Ok... that post deserved 89 comments because those were some funny pictures, but still... I feel like I just can't compete with that level of humor.

It would be great to get comments to know that people read my blog. As it is, I just have to assume that the few people I have heard read it are still out there and still checking in. I'd like to think I'm funny every now and then and it would be nice to know that people think my silly little site is at least worth the 2 minutes a day to read.

89 comments! WOW.

But do I care? I find myself wondering why I write. I wonder if it's replacing my need to write poetry as my form of medicine. I wonder if I do it out of some silly sense of obligation.

In the end, I always come to the same conclusion. There is one reason I write. And maybe someday she will know how much I enjoy her being in my life.*


* Ok, that was cheesy and I did steal the idea of putting the picture in the post, but I like it. Maybe I should post more relevant pictures? Hmm... that could get ugly. I already take too many pictures as it is.

Sometimes yes means no

Ellie, did you sleep well?

No.

Ellie, is that Bun-Bun?

No.

Ellie, do you want to eat?

No.