I recently had my first real heart to heart talk with my Ellie. Lately she has seemed so sad about her best friend Brynn not being very nice to her. Her entire life, Ellie has known and defined herself as "Brynn's Best Friend" and so it is hard for her to understand how things can change. For me, it's difficult to watch her struggle with redefining her friendships, but I am trying to not let my own memories of high school drama turn this into anything bigger than it really is.
In a recent discussion about her friends...
Mommy: Do you still play with Brynn? Is she still your friend?
Ellie: Ummm... I don't really like her anymore.
Mommy: Really? Why not?
Ellie: (big sigh) I'm just tired. She's not very nice to me and it takes away my energy and I don't have enough energy to be her friend anymore.
Mommy: Yeah, that makes sense. It's a little sad, but it's ok if you want to pick someone else to be your best friend.
Ellie: Yeah but everyone else already has their best friend.
Mommy: What about Izzy? She's missing Kylie (Izzy's best friend who recently moved away). I'm sure she would be happy to be your best friend.
Ellie: Yeah but she needs time to stop being sad about Kylie.
Mommy: Oh. Well, do you know what I think?
Ellie: What?
Mommy: I think that whomever you choose will be lucky to have you as a best friend because you're always thinking of nice things to do for your friends. You always think of special presents to give to Brynn and so I know that you are a good best friend.
Ellie: Yeah but she doesn't give me special presents and she doesn't like the special things I give to her.
Mommy: Maybe your next best friend will?
Ellie: But when will that be?
Mommy: Oh I know! It's ok if you don't have a best friend right now because you have lots of other friends. And then when you're 5 years old you can go to Kindergarten and meet lots of new friends there!
Ellie: Yeah! Dat will be fun! I like that idea.
Mommy: Ok.
Ellie: Hey, I have an idea! Til I go to Kindergarten, you can be my best friend!
Mommy: I would love that, but when you decide you want a different best friend, just tell me and that's ok.
Ellie: But til den, you can be my best friend.
She ended the conversation with a swinging her arms around and around...
Ellie: Do you know what I'm doing? That's is my heart saying "I love you."
OH. MY. GOD. What is a mother supposed to say in response to that???
1 comment:
This was so sweet. It broke my heart just a little bit- who doesn't remember a time when your friendships changed and all the uncertainty and insecurity that went with it. But this is a fantastic lesson to learn now and your suggestion that kindergarten will bring new friendship opportunities was spot-on! Ellie seems like such a sweet, caring, generous friend that anyone will be lucky to claim Ellie as her best friend! Give Ellie a hug for me!
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