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Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Sacrificing during pregnancy

On the radio station's "other people's problems" the other day, a woman wrote to ask how she should handle her husband wanting to be more intimate with her than she wanted. She was also pregnant.

Multiple (I repeat, MULTIPLE) guys called in saying that they had an agreement with their wives that they could have an open relationship (sleep with other women) during their wive's pregnancies. One guy even said that they hired a lawyer and wrote up a whole legal agreement where he promised not to fall in love and if she ever got suspicious about him cheating AFTER the pregnancy was over, then she would get 90% of his worth.

I think that's crazy! Many other callers called in to say that a woman sacrifices so much during a pregnancy and it's so difficult. The DJ would respond with "but it was your choice to get pregnant. You CHOSE to make those sacrifices."

Isn't the decision to have children one that is chosen by BOTH husband and wife? Isn't a pregnancy something where BOTH husband and wife need to make some sacrifices? She sacrifices her comfort to carry a baby for 9 months. Is it really that much to ask him to sacrifice his "comfort" too?

I'm not sure what responses I expect to hear back, but I was surprised enough by the topic that I figured it was worth writing about. It never ceases to amaze me how people view life's situations and solutions with such variety.

2 comments:

Char said...

Sadly I have heard of people doing this. I must say I don't understand why someone would allow their spouse to do what they wanted during the pregnancy. Not my thing I am 100% with you on this one!!! Crazy in my opinion! But I mind my business when I hear about it bc what works for them may no work for me...but not my business!

spleeness said...

You've got to be kidding. It wasn't just one person who was an anomaly but something *multiple* people agreed to? I have to say that a request like this would end the relationship. Which would suck, because then I'd be a single mom.

No one could promise not to fall in love but that's not even the greatest of my worries. What about disease? What about that the woman needs him there and not off galavanting around with floozies? And what woman would sleep with a guy under those circumstances anyway? "Hi, I just want a fling b/c my wife is prego and, you know, I have um, NEEDS." I'd be thinking, "Yeah, NEEDS that could easily be met by lube, alone." I could never step into the middle of a couple let alone a family.