Fear the mouth

WARNING: This is another TMI post. If you think you might be squeamish about breastfeeding, then please feel free to come back another day.

If there was one thing I wished for in Baby Vincent II, it would be that the breastfeeding would go better. No, wait. I guess I wished for a lot of things. Now that I think about it, I have no idea how we survived Baby Ellie.

Anyway... Let's stick with the breastfeeding. I wrote about my first experience with breastfeeding Ellie, and I am constantly reminding myself that this time around is so much better.

Be it because I didn't have an epidural during this birth, or maybe that Addie wasn't quite as jaundice as Ellie was, or maybe they just have different personalities, but Addie was by far more alert than Ellie from the very beginning. Combine that with the fact that she is a little bigger than her older sister, and her older sister "prepped" my nipples for feeding... Feeding Addie has gone significantly better than Ellie.

With Ellie, we were in the hospital for 4 days. Addie was home after just a single day. When I think about where Addie was at 4 days, it boggles my mind how much further we were. At 4 days old, a typical baby is expected to gain 0.5-1.0 oz a day, but Addie had gained 6 oz in just two days! At 4 days, we had 4 days of successful breastfeeding behind us. With Ellie, we hadn't even had a successful latch.

When I think about it in terms of comparing the two, I am reminded that we're weeks, if not months ahead of the game. However, it's hard to remember that things are going better when they're still not going well.

Five days into breastfeeding was my low point. I had cracks in my nipples that were so deep that every time Addie fed, she'd draw blood and would spit it up a few minutes later. If there is one thing about early motherhood that I will always be impressed with, it's the fact that nipples can heal. Think about it - it's not like you can say "Oh, just give me a few days to recover and I'll be back on track afterward!" No, these are wounds that are reopened every 2-3 hours. And that takes a toll on you. Yet they heal. Amazing.

I will always be in awe at how difficult breastfeeding can be. You'd think that since every baby in history has had to depend on it, then it would come more naturally. I have a great deal of amazement for those few that I know who had no problems breastfeeding at all. How they do it is beyond me. I guess that explains why Wet Nurses were so popular in the past!

I am happy to say that only two weeks in, I'm definitely over the hump. My low point was at 5 days and I did question whether or not it was worth continuing. The fact that I could look back at my first month with Ellie and remind myself that it was so much worse then, yet I got over it, kept me going this time.

It's not perfect yet. Feeding Addie still hurts for the first couple of sucks of each latch, but then I'm fine. Two weeks and I feel like I'm where Ellie and I were at 2 months. So there is hope yet. I just look forward to the day when I don't have to fear my baby's mouth anxiously awaiting and grabbing for the boob. Scary.