I never expected this new addition to be easy on Ellie, but I have been very grateful that it's going so well. For the most part.
Ellie loves to help out with the baby. She'll help with diaper changes by handing us wipes and diapers. She likes to lay out the blanket to wrap the baby up in a swaddle. She often gives the baby hugs and kisses and tucks the baby in with her Bun-Bun Bear. If we go to the store, she'll ask us if we can bring her baby inside. And if the baby is waking up, she'll inform me "Oh, oh! Baby is waking up, Mommy! You feed her now!"
So she likes her baby. Thank God for that.
But this weekend was difficult on poor Ellie. I think it was the fact that she saw how needy the baby was through out the whole day. Before this weekend, she was just limited to seeing a couple feedings in the morning and evenings. But since she spent the entire day with us for two days in a row... it wore on her.
Last night she had a little melt down. While I was feeding Addie, Ellie got upset about something (something having to do with putting a blanket on the table and then the chair on top to sit on it???) and I couldn't calm her down. I asked Daddy to take the baby for a while and asked Ellie if she wanted to sit on my lap. She didn't waste any time crawling up and snuggling. We sat there for a good 10 or 15 minutes.
During that time I asked her if she felt like I was spending too much time with Addie. She responded with a sad "yeah." It brought tears to my eyes - or maybe they were already there. I tried to explain to her that babies take a lot of work and that if she ever feels like she needs more attention, then she needs to tell me "Mommy I need some time with you."
I hope she understands. I think she does. I spent a good part of the evening just the two of us and I think it helped. This morning she woke up as pleasant and happy as always.
I love my little girl and am so dang proud of her. I hate seeing her upset.
6 comments:
Awww! Poor little Ellie. I bet it will only get easier now. And as soon as Addie gets older and can play, things will really get fun.
So how is this new baby? You've haven't written much about her. Are you so in love with her tiny fingers and toes? Who do you think she looks like? And little peeks of her personality coming through? How's she sleeping? She's just beautiful and has a beautiful name.
Sorry for the 20 questio
I think it's always an adjustment, but it sounds like she is doing pretty well. My nephew had a really hard time and he was 8 when his little sister was born. You've got yourself a great big sister in L. When you have a great older sib like that be prepared for the mommy guilt to hit later on. I really didn't start to feel it until recently, like this last Sunday when we had to cut the Cracker's snow play short because his sister was throwing the fit of the century. And instead of throwing a fit too he's so mature about it. Heart wrenching.
OH! I didn't think about that side of things. Hugs to the Cracker!
Jen (I think) - I know you didn't mean to ask such difficult questions but I will try to answer them soon.
Nope, wasn't me! But I do feel for Lorielle from this story. She'll be fine, though. She loves her little sister and just has some adjusting to do. Which is hard for a 2-year-old.
Jen
It's beautiful that you saw how she was feeling, invited her into your lap and validated how important she was to you. It'd be too easy to stand inside yourself, torn, and react with stress (or like me, by shutting down) rather than look outwards but you did, and did it so gracefully. What a great story.
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