Round Two

As you now know from yesterday's post, I'm pregnant again. It's why I haven't really been writing as much lately... but finally I'm comfortable posting about it. I've seen a heart beat so it must be true!

Here's some of the stuff I've written in recent weeks:

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Wow. That was quick! I know we said we were trying for another, but I guess I kind of expected to have a month or two to get used to the idea first. Go Go Gadget Baby Maker! Well there's no turning back now!

I've got to say that there is nothing in the world quite like what I call "pregnancy tired". I first found out that I was pregnant with Ellie when I came home and decided that the rug in the entry way looked way too comfy to deny myself a nap. That's not normal. Well this time I decided that I must be pregnant when I fell asleep ironing curtains (Grandma is helping us make curtains for our house). Yes, you heard me. I fell asleep. Standing up. Holding an iron. Like I said, there is nothing like pregnancy tired. If you've been pregnant, you know what I mean. If not, then I just can't explain it.

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I think we're still in shock about being pregnant again. Ellie has joined in. This morning at breakfast Mommy said "Eight months? Ahhhhhh!!" and for the rest of the morning, Ellie would go around saying "Ate monts? AAHHHHH!" I think she's nervous about it too.

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God knows how far into the pregnancy I am. My due date, if calculated by the day of my last period, is October 15th. With Ellie, my original due date was changed by 2 weeks after the first ultrasound. I'm guessing that after all my frustrations with the pregnancy test this time around, it will be a similar story. I wonder if my body is just gets pregnant "late" into my cycle.

Either way I think we're safe. October 15th is a good month away from our anniversary. We really really want to keep our anniversary to ourselves. My anniversary! Mine! Stay away! Hahaha... like I have to share it with too many people. The 11th of September hasn't been a very popular wedding date for years now. No matter. They don't know what they're missing! And I'm rambling.

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I'm guessing I'm 4-6 weeks into this thing and already it feels so different than with Ellie. With Ellie I was excited to announce my pregnancy to anyone who would listen and I thought it was odd whenever anyone would comment on how I didn't wait longer to tell people. This time I understand. I'm not really sure what is different, but it feels so weird to make my pregnancy public knowledge **BEFORE** I've even heard a heart beat. It's like I want to be sure I'm pregnant. Being late and tired isn't enough. I want to hear a heart beat before I will consider exposing my new baby to those around me.

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I'm not thrilled. There I said it. It comes as a surprise to me too. I was so excited about getting pregnant again, and it was Michael who was nervous. Now that I'm pregnant, the roles have been reversed. He's all giddy with joy and skipping to silent music. Meanwhile I'm the one who is questioning this decision. It's not that I don't want another child. And it's not that I'm unhappy about being pregnant. It's that I'm not completely thrilled. With Ellie it was like a beam of sunshine was always falling on me, but this time I can't help but question our decision to go back to sleepless nights. And what about Ellie? I'm sure I'll be wondering that every day for the next 8 months.

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Already the pregnancy dreams have started. When I was pregnant with Ellie I had the most bizarre dreams, most of them too bizarre to remember. One that I do recall, though, was dreaming that I gave birth to a litter of puppies. There were five of them and since I only have two breasts, it made feeding time quite hectic. I recall that one of the puppies ended up nursing from my belly button.

This time I gave birth to a rooster. The rooster was breached and that's not a pretty sight. If the rooster comes out head first, all the feathers line up in a smooth fashion. On the other hand, if the rooster is breached... let's just say it's not pretty and leave it at that.

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