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Friday, August 07, 2009

It's time to call in the experts

It's been over a week now since Bun Bun was amputated and we're not doing so well. Ellie gave us false hope when she slept ALMOST all the way until morning (she cried around 5:30 one morning and 5:50 another), but other than that it's been horrible.

Luckily, putting her asleep isn't really an issue. It's keeping her asleep that is our problem. Or I guess I should say her lack of ability to put herself back to sleep is the problem. Apparently this was where Bun Bun's arms' true magic came in.

Last night she was up 4 times with bad dreams. On a positive note, Daddy didn't have to go into her room at all and was able to calm her down by just talking to her from the door. Mommy doesn't even attempt because she knows I'll break down and lay with her. But 4 times is still 4 times, and it's even more than that when you consider how hard it is for Daddy to go back to sleep. Poor Daddy.

So this afternoon, while I sit and wait for my henna tattoo to dry (so excited!) I'll be doing laundry and reading our "Healthy Sleep Happy Baby" book in hopes of there being good stuff in there for 2+ year olds. Any advice or suggestions will gladly be taken!

7 comments:

Salina said...

Hmmm...I think I may have a slightly different parenting philosophy so this may not work for you. I think that even despite it affecting her teeth, there are braces you can get when she's older to correct that. With that, I would let her have bun-bun in tact until she grows out of the need for that kind of comfort. She is still very young and I think many babies/children need this type of soothing (it's why I allow Cooper to use me as his lovey all night if that's what he needs).

The other thing to think about is that this could be difficult transition for her with the baby coming. She may really need this incredibly soothing object in the coming months and it could be a lot for her to lose this and being the sole attention from mommy and daddy. (Are you also trying to potty train right now? All these changes could just be too much at one time for her.)

Another book I would recommend is No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers. It may give you some other ideas to help her sleep without a lovey.

Niffer said...

Thanks, Salina!

I certainly have my moments when I feel exactly like you described. I think if it's something that doesn't work itself out soon then we'll consider going back to Bun Bun. You're right, with potty training and the baby coming... that's a lot to ask of her. That's actually why we amputated Bun Bun now (in hopes of the issue being resolved before baby).

But in the end, it would be nice to have her sleeping again. We'll see what the next week or so has in store for us!

M said...

Hey Salina,

I think if it were a matter of braces, I wouldn't be worried. But the doctor implied that it will potentially be a major surgery to correct (breaking her jaw in many places and resetting it, with her having to have her jaw wired shut while the whole thing heals).

By stopping arm-sucking now, we are hoping for braces *only* as opposed to major surgery.

sqpeggy said...

Tough one. I completely identify. Millie has always woken up at 5am but is still tired. It'd be one thing if she woke up happy and raring to go but she's still tired and we have not figured out how to help her out with that yet. This morning at her pediatrician's office I asked if he had any tips for getting her to go back to sleep in the morning and he said just keep bringing her back to the bed until she gets it or tires out. Hm. Sounds like something easier to do on a weekend... also easier said than done.

Although there are lots of sleep books out there there really is no one right answer, is there. In the end, do what you really think is the best thing for all of you and stick with it. If that's sleep training then stick with it. If it's giving back bun-buns arms then repeat after me, "We're doing what we feel is best for our family right now." They have these great invisalign braces these days-- :)

So, no answers here but lots of sympathy from the mom of an early riser. Keep us posted if you discover anything. I'd love to sleep in 'till 7am ;)

spleeness said...

wow, I wish I had some advice. I don't know a single parent that hasn't had a hard time of this and also for each baby, there are different solutions. I don't know of anything that's a sure thing. One of my friends recommends a book called "baby wise" but I haven't heard of it or read it so not sure what it's about. Its tough! And maybe whatever ends up working for Ellie will not work for the new baby - you'll get to be experimental scientists in the lab all over again. :)

Salina said...

I saw Michael's response just now and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind sharing more info with me. Charlotte sucks her thumb and our doctor said that as long as she outgrows it by age 5 (around the time permanent teeth come in) that there isn't any need for concern. She said after that age then it could cause more severe issues like Michael is describing. After asking around to other parents and doing more research online everything seemed to say the same thing--continuing to suck for comfort after adult teeth come through is when there is a problem. Just concerned that maybe I'm overlooking something and we ought to try to begin breaking the habit closer to Ellie's age (of course how in the heck to break thumb sucking??).

Niffer said...

Salina,

The dentist experience was not a good one for us. He didn't do anything to try to calm Ellie down, or even talk directly to her. During the exam, he would tell his assistant all sorts of things and I heard words like "over bite" and "open bite." Then he just got up and left without saying a word to me. When I asked the assistant if I should be concerned about it, she said that there really isn't much they could do anyway until Ellie reaches 5 years old. When I was in the lobby, the dentist walked by and I stopped him and asked him about it. He rudely said "of course it's something you should be concerned about. I would get rid of the pacifier TONIGHT (he obviously didn't really answer me when I said she didn't take a pacifier) because even as it is, she's going to need major orthodontics and even surgery to correct the problem." Then he walked away. The fact that I had to force the information out of him pissed me off.

In the end, we decided it would be best to get a second opinion (we have an appointment with a better recommended dentist at the end of the month) but that it was probably best to deal with Bun Bun anyway so as not to cause more damage.

I sucked my thumb until I was four and then just stopped cold turkey one day when I decided i was a big girl. I barely needed braces. I am sure I'm not the only one. From what I've been told by this second dentist (the one I haven't seen in person yet), they recommend getting rid of pacifiers and such between 2 and 3 years old.

I'll let you know what I find out when we have our next appointment.